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I think I might do this a bit differently than you might expect. In fact I don't think I'm gonna do this right now, you'll
have to wait.
Wait no longer, today is the day the first songs go up!
9/16/04
A Farewell to Angels
I loved you once
In the days of knights
When honor was everything
A backwards word
Could tear the page
And destroy the best names
I love you now
In the days of slavery
Where all is bound
And knights mean knavery
Every portrait painted
Is falling off the vine
Over ripened in gallantry
And destroyed by the time
I still remember that fist night
When I knew that you would
Stand with me through the cold
Never falter, doing what you could
And how the heavens wept
To have seen the grace
That you granted me
And brought me closer to his name
But sometimes you just can’t hold
on
I still remember that last night
When I had to let you go
Not a single tear from your eye
And then I didn’t know
Where have all of our days gone by
Did I miss them in your arms
Or did I miss them in your eyes
And yet lay so far from you
I can picture you in other’s arms
But not myself in theirs
And every longing gaze I pass
Have been me with blank stares
So how do I move on
When the truth can not be laid to rest
In closing arms
Or my now cold bed
I miss those days in your sun
I long for those nights of the moon
And every tear I now shed
I wish I could hide from you
I guess this is goodnight
For the fairy tale that was my life
I guess this is goodbye
To the angel that I’ve lost sight
May all your journeys be great
May all you tears bear weight
May all your words be heard
May your arms not be cold
This is my goodbye
4/20/04
Untitled and in Progress
Have you ever stared down the face in the mirror searching those hollow eyes calling to those deaf ears only
to realize the ghost on the other side is gone (is you)
This tainted lake, with fresh drawn blood to break the surface with life and hope deeper than Walden yet
carved in earthquake
But I'm sorry the emergency lines were busy so I had to call direct to hear a voice on the other end for once what
do the sun and moon have to say to one another after eternity in each other's light that can't be spoken in a moment
I'm out of focus and underdeveloped in the hands of an artist and in my own clumsily sacrificed to and idol in
an empty shrine
why do I trample this flower underfoot and replace with a headstone for some hero I'd never be replace
me with a blossoming tree
You left without a word
and I'm supposed to be happy
to catch your voice
for half a minute
wouldn't you cry
if your life turned its back on you
and left you bleeding on the floor
forget all of the dreams that got me here
because they amount to nothing more than nightmare
with my bloodshot eyes
soaking the last drops of light
I guess today
I was
supposed
to die happy
what
a disappointment
I must be now
4/14/04
Degrees of Truth
There are moments in your feathering eyes and your quaking hands that signal the end of the day amongst the
tales of shattered glass Maybe if man weren't defined by weakness and misery I hear your voice speak but the
words are lost in (their) infancy
The blue sun hangs above barely two feet over the surface yet its getting cold in here against the hand scrawled
face
The hands of time bending to the will of a war torn lover forlorned by the sounds of marching soldiers chanting
her name across a battlefield sanctified by words of prophets and blood of poets Raise your torches and your rifles for
the sonnets Today will end when the last drop spills
The days that pass go unnoticed in malignant hibernation trapped by winter kisses sealing the fascination with
cave-ins and avalanches The blue sun hangs above barely two feet over the surface yet its getting cold in here against
the hand scrawled face
The clouds are twisting sunlight to hide in crevices, cut through granite and forgotten in the soil unlike the
scars of flesh left in tomorrow And what do saviors know in the time of desperation dancing with the devil in
the pale moon light but please call him an angel even though his breath is cold his eyes are never frigid
all the tear stained notebooks and pens bled dry for a heart dryer still shrivel at the mention of an eternity cast
aside for fear for uncertainty I'm sorry, there is not blood enough to atone for my sins only my life now can
make things right I hope these fractured hands and legs cut short can turn the tide of a thousand errored words
Closed eyes to a horror beg for a shot to be seen past the silhouttes of demons hiding in the sunset days The
blue sun hangs above barely two feet over the surface yet its getting cold in here against the hand scrawled face maybe
this blood can warm me
3/1/04
Dead Man Walking
Dear John, I can't help the scars left upon your bed or the dire strain of lost heart dreams. So far only
the sounds of shattered glass and miscued lullabies have shone through your eyes. That aging camera with diffracted
lens, never told the truth like your breathe heavy and saccharine against those perfumed skies. And the lying
weather played upon your weakness till your face was gone now I leave too. Sincerely, Regretful Moonlight
Dear Jane Doe, I've thought about those words you carved in my ears and all the foreign tears you feigned
at my procession And his permanent confessional will hold confidential for my eternity while the memory gives
way like my flesh within the casket cut to term (or specification, designation) And I've had these ruined pictures too
long beneath my thumb to tell the difference between the feigning songs and fainting hearts... Sincerely, Your
Buried Hatchet
2/26/04
After the Fact
I wish those sunshine eyes gave me that warmth of the fire I once knew instead it seems that azure sky took
off into the night with a hollow star
Errant echoes fill my ears as the deja vu sinks in and i become an afterthought till afterlife
Postal codes defining the paths to the hearts sent away till the aftermath of floods fill ghost towns in
scenic slumber
Now those washed out eyes scream in dusty blues wandering the desert of the real the real believer and in
a voice no longer hers a few words linger across the ashen lake
Reminding me of an angel's voice heard through the blackened course against the din of incessant loneliness
Yet I'm afraid I've fallen out of love with heaven in a Stockholm syndrome tantrum above these unmarked graves
Errant echoes fill my ears as the deja vu sinks in and i become an afterthought till afterlife
If only those blue gray days could return to right the wrongs of this bloodied night from my red handed crimes after
the fact
2/25/04
Heartless Romantic (Sloth)
Lets see this LCD ghost reflective panels showing touched up photographs hiding those blemishes that have
scarred your eyes for so long
Pictures to forget like flames fed on foolish inclinations and ideals
this kiss seals the fate of those intentions towards the wall pressed against her in crash test precision
A justifying mind with surgical speed to remove any cardiac interference from base instinct
A dragon to feed off the soot and ash formed from the incinerated painting of Eden
You have built a graveyard atop the ashes of heroes and called it a palace beckoning an audience to your
jests in expense of the lye beneath your feet
Let the effigies of queens fall Cleopatra still has miles to go and Victoria could never win Not while the Whore
of Babylon reigns full
2/23/04
Mid Life Crisis
Desire turned your illusion to reality fiction turning true lies you now believe but this lie can't hold
water and the ink bleeds from the false I.D.'s
the blurring words cakes your eyes and desperation wrings your neck
Your back's against the wall created from a need a fear a lost sense of self amongst the anonymous stars
And day dream phantasms distort that winning smile into a grimace begrudgingly accepting the shifting tide
The intuition of failing breathes guiding you here among the reeds seeking a voice against their drowning
nature
but in the words of the predecessors This day will live forever among the ouiji board history books
And that fading hidden hand that once protracted the days contracts the minutes against the night like whispers
against stone walls
But when this day finally passes and the night lingers on its hearth Does the passage of the time justify the
failing of your heart
2/10/2004
No Title Yet
I burn for a reason
to take another step
Dieing to deny
myself another breathe
And I hear no voices
begging me to stop
So why should I
put this knife to the ground
When I am so close
to finally, gaining control
I breathe
So here's my chance
to take it back
I see
a gentle sky fighting
back against the night
I have
a moment in the crystal
lake staring me down
I live
another day another chance
another moment in my hands
Always in search
of that holy grail
that was promised us
A dare to be great moment
in this homogenous sea
where do I walk
To find an answer in a cloud
how do I reach a silver lining
10,000 feet beyond my hands
In these eyes
that stare me down
in these hands
throwing their stones
in that voice
bearing its weight
like acid rain against the light
Maybe I won't find heaven
but I'll be damned to not find myself
Answers evade my grasp
but my grip will never loose
I breathe
So here's my chance
to take it back
I see
a gentle sky fighting
back against the night
I have
a moment in the crystal
lake staring me down
I live
another day another chance
another moment in my hands
4/13/03
The Broken Mirror
I see a face reflected
Burned into my eyes
Telling me stories
Traced upon those wrinkled lines
Every kink tells a different tale
And every word comes from a different tongue
All roads lead to Rome
All lies lead you home
Yet still I turn
Always to that broken mirrors
For answers
Traced upon the fracture lines
I can never run
Fast enough to blur
The stories from memory
The truth to slurred words
The stories resound in my ears
Twisted to the mouths of forgotten
Memories end in pasts
Ties and broken pacts
Yet still I turn
Always to that broken mirrors
For answers
Traced upon the fracture lines
I cotterize the wounds
And look again
Still a fractured man
Carved upon the porcelain cells
Thrown against the walls
Mosaics of blood and tears
Echoed answers fail
Beneath this bloody veil
Yet still I turn
Always to that broken mirrors
For answers Traced upon the fracture lines
4/15/03
Coping with Disaster
Bloody tears
Fall from faces of anguish
Tearing down
The blackened skies above
Shaking trembling fear
Covered in sterile words
To comfort
Without the memory
Dressed in black
To hide our eyes
From hated myths
To hide from his touch
No words
Have been spoken
No breaths have ever expressed
Another day will dawn again
And another memory remains forever
Faces faded
Passing through to the past
From this day
Words enshrouded in black
No tears
Will fall in vain today
No words
Will be empty
For eyes that know the truth Are eyes that must lead the way
4/15/03
Erased Identity
Post mortem silence
gripping so many lives like a fist...
The fist of god?
As wind
Plays open fields
One must not forget
One step from life
Is another journey
We must all ascend
And yet on this path
One can see others pass
Or more fade away
But I still see their faces
Or hear their words, their legacy
How can I falter
Knowing my path
Continues on
Knowing every step
Brings me to myself
Many will pass
None will rise again
And this one will not stop me yet
Let her memory breathe in me
So she can live
Forever In each and every touched soul
4/15/03
"Untitled (yet again... lol)"
Hateful words
Screamed in regret
Uncaring till faced
With the end
If I could
I'd take back every calloused word
Every bitter lie and share these words
In the final moments
Time ticks by so slowly
Like it will never end
But when the clock stops working
It seems all too quick
Knowing my eyes
Will never see your face
And I can never again
Be your friend
My heart is broken
My eyes are red
My legs snap beneath the weight
Now on my head
(a quick one for a friend of mine who disliked
her final words to our lost classmate)
4/15/03
The Distal Path
Maybe if my blood would stand still
For only one
I would know the path
Meant for me
My vision
Would clear
Unto boundless heaven
And light to the truth
My arms would stop shaking
Pupils undilated
My heart trusting my head
Trusting my life
Days no longer passing
Fueling doubt in my soul
Only sure
Of the way I must go
I would be so fleet of foot
If my feet fell to a path
And not
Undisclosed location
I would proceed without a doubt
But this doubt creeps in
Too quickly
My resolve whithers away
My certainty bled dry
My soul so
thickly sullied
My tears... A path to right
4/15/03
This is How You Break a Promise
If memories
Never change
And life and love
Stay the same
Can whispers from
Broken hearts
Soothe minds trapped in night
Can the storm
Knocking at my door
Bring light
In chaotic moments
And lightning strokes
Without tearing down my sky
This is how you break a promise
This is how you break a heart
In the middle of a moment
Trapped between the agony and the ecstasy
If the only air
You can breathe
Is air
Stale and cold
All those doubts
Stay forever
In the air
Charged with lies with truth
And if something wicked
This way comes
Will I be able
To survive
Missing her words
Missing her eyes
This is how you break a promise
This is how you break a heart
In the dead of the night
With silent words unspoken
The sun and moon
In constant battle
For a chance
In the same sky
One brings calm
One brings life
Both bring heaven
Both are life
How can you choose
Which to destroy
When both are needed
When both bring joy
Stare too long
At the sun
Youll go blind
Stick with moon
Eternal night
You have no eyes
This is how you break a promise
This is how you break a heart
This is how my promise broke me
This is how my heart died
In that silent moment
Of shattering glass heartache
10/25/02
The Frailty of Life
If my eyes dont open
With the rising sun
I will be content in knowing
That I once truly lived
Everyday I stood up
Everyday I held on to
Each passing moment
In my open heart
Never fear the life
Placed in your hands
Embrace and enjoy
Everything you can
If there is no second chance
Then take this life you own
Embrace others in your hands
Share the joy you have known
One day my heart will fail
My body will collapse
But the life I shared with you
Live on in your hands
Times will change forever
Pain will come and go
The legacy you lead
Lives in those you show
Never fear the life
Placed in your hands
Embrace and enjoy
Everything you can
If there is no second chance
Then take this life you own
Embrace others in your hands
Share the joy you have known
I have felt a fire
Burning through open wounds
I have touched the light
Guiding me on my path
I have felt her hands
Reaching for my own
I have felt the love
So few have ever known
And I will show the world all I have in my heart
And share with everyone around me
All the joys that I can share
10/23/02
Sunsets Bleed the Saddest Colors
Just another shadow
Pushed aside by the sun
That one who nurtured him
That one who makes him run
His transient nature
So easy to dilute
With the splintered fractions
Of the suns strength
Ignored by so many
As they trample him
No care for his life
Or ears for his screaming
The one he begged to listen
Lowered her ear
But the words fell like stones
To the bottom of this empty well
Exaggerated movements in retreat
In fear of those
That he needs
If he is to be
To be nothing
Not even felt by others like him
Forced to hide from all light
Into himself
That which he loves
Always so far away
Never within reach
No matter how near the voice
10/22/02
The Greatest 2 Minutes of Your Life
With all eyes upon you
Mocking every move you make
Your mind too far gone
For them to ever understand
This passion burning
Deep and long
The only light in
A dim world
Too blind to see
Your fire
That could
Save them all
Their gestures to hurt you
Fall upon empty air
Nothing can bring you down
To their resting place
A candle flickering with life in motion forever burning eternal
This passion burning
Deep and long
The only light in
A dim world
Too blind to see
Your fire
That could
Save them all
The truth
That could
Save them all
I bleed passion
From open wounds
For all to see
With no shame in my heart
Body like fire (Such energy flows through me)
Spirit of stone (Such power it gives me)
Will like the wind (Forever in motion)
Passion strong (Forever in me)
10/17/02
The Heavens Open
You dont have to die
Just because they say
There are no angels
in the sky
If this earthly presence
Does not seem enough
Just enjoy and take
Your solace, where it comes
Sometimes the pain
Is overwhelming
In the face of past
Lives lived
And those things
So worth the strife
Always seem to slip away
Or you push them back
You deserve it all
Or I would not give it
The heavens could sink to the sea
But in my heart youve never fallen
Not 1 inch
Not 1 second
The mirror can only
Reflect what it sees
But it only sees
What youve shown it
You are not the prize
But why I fight
Against the highest tides
The tallest lies
One word is all it takes
3 words to save the world
my words to spread it all
your words to reflect the surface
You deserve it all
Or I would not give it
The heavens could sink to the sea
But in my heart youve never fallen
Not 1 inch
Not 1 second
10/15/02
All Too Missed
Faded pictures of possibility
Haunt my vision
The broken mirror
Endless fractured reflection
A past so misshapen
In a years solace
Guided
By the memory
So many falling to their knees
In his honor
Most loved and cherished
By those left behind
How kindred spirits could
Be torn apart
Long before
Their chance to shine
A name never forgotten
In times of pain or joy
Always sitting waiting
Like the sun before the dawn
So many falling to their knees
In his honor
Most loved and cherished
By those left behind
No words can change
This truth like the wind
Like his soul, his life
All too fleeting
All too loved All
too missed
10/13/02
Empty Coffee Cups
Used up Like everyone else who came before me For your pleasure for your benefit alone
That look in your eyes Was a lethal injection of inemotion Straight to the heart Straight for the kill You
couldn't have cared less
Ripped open Like a christmas gift You've recieved a million times before I was nothing special just
another dose to keep you stably dying happily!
That look in your eyes Was a lethal injection of inemotion Straight to the heart Straight for the kill You
couldn't have cared less
As my heart burns down in a blaze of fading glory in your name you stand there idly chatting about
all the times you've done this before
10/03/02
Violent Messiahs
When everyday feels like dying
And burning hearts never ignite
Who do you turn to?
Where do you go?
Your savior destroys you
Each and every time you embrace him
Taking you lower
Just a little bit more everyday
Cant you see
While on bended knee
He betrays you
All to often
Burning away every little thing
That you have left inside your heart
Lying to yourself
To cope with nothing
You dont have to stay down forever
Break this chain to be free (you want it)
Strength comes from heart
Bravery through the pain
Take your life into your hands
Dont betray your heart
Your dignity
Your self
Your savior destroys you
Each and every time you embrace him
Taking you lower
Just a little bit more everyday
Cant you see
While on bended knee
He betrays you
All to often
Every step seems harder than the last
Each breath fainter than the rest
But strength wells up in your soul
As you struggle to free yourself Each step pulling you further from his grasp!
9/16/02
Another Lonely Monday
Self pity serves me no purpose
I've given up on giving in
Buried myself once too often
Now I rise
Never to fall again
My hand touching yours
My heart matching beat
My eyes forever open
My soul forever free
I'm tired of lying to myself
to cope with disaster
I will embrace the truth
Even if it burns my skin
Like flying to close to the sun!!
My hand touching yours
My heart matching beat
My eyes forever open
My soul forever free
Twisting words twisting thoughts memories distorted
by ideas that betray truth
Ideas that could never be
Sick and tired of being beaten down
By myself
I STAND TALL
9/13/02
The Call of Life
Where do we go from here? After all the bitter memories and pain What do
we do now?
We must take a step Move forward Let the past be lessons taught And the present striving
for the next moment
Caught up in everything Seems to spin out of control We can grab the reins We can live
on as before Everything we've been through is another stone for our castle building on a strong foundation Reaching
to the sun and sky A wise man had so so long ago Simple words to guide us all Every journey begins with a single
step Let this end be my beginning
We must look ahead live our lives again Let the past be lessons taught And the present
striving for the next moment
So many questions "WHY?" will all go unanswered There is no truth to respond Just reality unfolding
for us To sit and wait for the next day Is to seal your fate
Its time Time to get up again No more lying down No more giving in Place one
foot forward Let your weight sink deep Each step lighter Each step higher Each step closer To
your fulfillment
Further and further With every step
9/6/02
Wonders and False Histories
Where are the heroes
This world had promised us
The saviors
We were told would come
They were lies
Given to make us wait
In complacency
With all of our patience draining
My heart wont let me standby
As brothers and sisters are stricken down alike
If nothing wonderful ever happens
I will make it so myself
With my hands
And my strength
The blood has spilled
For long enough
For the rivers to run red
Like my heart, my eyes, my soul
Im sick of standing by
Watching my world cry
Hoping and praying for the messiah
The one that seems to betray our confidence
My heart wont let me standby
As brothers and sisters are stricken down alike
If nothing wonderful ever happens
I will make it so myself
With my hands
And my strength
9/6/02
Shooting Stars
And the night sky
Will swallow another
Soul whole
And when eyes gaze
Upon a new star
They shall remember
All the dreams they
Used to share
But memories lie like
Pictures, false and hollow
Unlike their untainted surfaces
And the life that
Protects you will show
You love while you
Search for the answers
It will embrace and
Bring you warmth even on
Those coldest, empty days
Searching for purpose
And meaning in all
Those years that
We pass by
Yet distant stars are the
Only ones with beauty
That you can love
For fly to closely
And your wings will melt
Into your fall
8/10/02
Trust Born Strength (for Alexia)
The lies the truth blend together in a tattered dream
Losing grip on the picture held together in this broken frame
Two halves of a world, torn apart by everything you saw and knew deep inside your heart
This world that seems to
betray me every chance it gets
Must be denied the power
to overcome my dreams and strength
I put my trust in myself
Because I won't fail my heart
I know this to be true
My strength is reborn
These dreams fill my strength, my strength drives me foward
I let my fears slip by the wayside
Yet I still feel my plans fall apart like my life sometimes
But these dreams that stand strong within are my light
The only things I have left so I protect them with everything I have
This world that seems to
betray me every chance it gets
Must be denied the power
to overcome my dreams and strength
I put my trust in myself
Because I won't fail my heart
I will never fail myself
like so many have done to me
8/10/02
The Great Saiyaman (Working title (I was watching DBZ at the time so sue me))
Beaten to within an inch of my life
Yet I still breathe
My strength will grow with every battle
No matter how near defeat
Everytime I feel you blade sink into my skin
I delve deeper inside... unleashing my everything
You can't comprehend my strength
Born from the direst hour
Every step I'm nearer death
Yet always pure of power
Look deep into my eyes
try to underestand
What all this means to me
Everything you've belittled
my world at hand
It grew stronger everyday
8/10/02
I Still Stand
After everythings been said and done
After all my heartache to move on
You expect me to fall to my knees
And save you from yourself
Who was ever there
To save me from you
When you let me fall
To shatter on the ground
(x2)
You are nothing of what you used to be
Everything you were before no cast away
You betrayed everything you ever claimed
So you could avoid yourself one more day
You expect me to fall to my knees
And save you once again from yourself
Well I'm finally through with the betrayal
Just because you're weak doesn't mean I have to be
You brought my world down
Buy I've built it right back up
From the ashes you scattered
In hopes I'd be lost forever
Who was ever there
To save me from you
When you let me fall
To shatter on the ground
Who was ever there
To save me from you
I've proven once again
I don't need their help
7/28/02
"This Waking Dream"
Each moment like a nightmare
Replaying in my sleep
Everlasting anger rising
Pumping through my blood
And so I work my way
Everytime I take a breath
To escape the chasing demons
And realize this waking dream
My hard earned rest
Only comes with struggle
As I try each night
To lay incomplete
But my strength will push me forward
Through the darkest nights
Beyond this wintry desert
Into my own world
And so I work my way
Everytime I take a breath
To escape the chasing demons
And realize this waking dream
Though the muscles burn
And the bones break
Beneath this weight
I will shoulder every burden
To live this waking dream
7/28/02
"Untitled"
I see you stand in the
light you've created for yourself
Through the hate through the pain
through everything the world could do
So you stand though alone
With such strength you fear for others
Never down on your knees praying
for a god to save you
Always standing tall no matter how
shaky the ground below
The storms that pass overhead
Have not quelled you in your flight
Though the sky may be dark
You trust the guiding winds
Understanding learned from pain
Life's lessons in the truest ways
Indomitible strength that will infuse
With the world
Never falling to false prophets
That will lead astray
Always standing tall no matter how
Shaky the ground below
7/18/02
"This World I Call My Own"
As purple skies open up to day That slithers through the forests searching for shelter
From the night that chases quickly
I see the rivers Beckoning so sweetly For a gentle kiss From nature's children
But a single child Betrays his mother's trust Destroying brothers and sisters alike With no remorse
for his actions He spends his days carving holes and rules deep into his flesh He kills his family so that
an arm may claim supremecy To the foot made of the same flesh
The mother has tried to punish But still this child ignores Seperating and betraying The
one who gave him birth
In the end one arm Will sever the other And one day the child's soul will leave him
lying there praying for solace Mercy that will never come For all that may have helped have died by his
hands
Give the child paradise and watch it burn
Will the father come to comfort His wife and bring into this world A child pure of hope and truth
7/2/02
"Pillar of strength"
You can tear at my spirit
But I will get up again
You can try to knock me down
But I will get up again
I will not quit
I will crawl from the gutter
You will not stop me
I will get over it
Because I must
I will not lay down and die
So you can ressurect my corpse
And have your way with me
Until you're satisfied
My will must see me through
As I push myself off my knees
And no matter what
I'm once again on my feet
I will not quit
I will crawl from the gutter
You will not stop me
I will get over it
Because I must
Sulking got me no where
Tears burnt my face
This pain I put myself through
Now I make go away
I deny you this chance
Because you pushed
Me from the edge
Hoping when I hit the ground
Only you would be in my head
You screwed me over
For the last time
Hope you got you kicks
I will not suffer
One last time
Hoping for your kiss
I will not quit
I will crawl from the gutter
You will not stop me
I will get over it
Because I must
I will embrace pain as my brother
As I embrace pleasure as my lover
6/25/02
Angel's Whispers
I watched my dreams die By my own hands
I had spent my whole life searching And what I found would kill me Without a second thought
All those nights that I cried So alone so very cold All those days locked away So empty so very
far away
I watched those days slip away In these arms In this embrace But the angel's wings could not hold me So I
let it all Drag me back
My rage has not been stilled My eyes still so red My pain burns brightly again I am a vessel for everything That
no one wants
How can I pull myself back When no one showed me how They all left me there Just when I needed help
All those nights that I cried So alone so very cold All those days locked away So empty so very
far away
I watched those days slip away In these arms In this embrace But the angel's wings could not hold me So I
let it all Drag me back
I have pulled the knife
Left in my back so long ago The blade still warm with blood My body still warm with life Sometimes I wish I
could kill them all And be complete in myself But still they lie beside me Unable to see me within Given the chance
to end it all I would spare the world and fall from the angel's hand
6/25/02
"Pulling myself off"
Why am I so blind To everything in front of me The answers and the reasons Were staring right at me But I
failed to take notice My mind pushed it all away
I forgot the reason What she meant to me In that single moment And lost my only chance To
truly live
I knew from that point on What it is I should have done But in the hour of chance I blew another hopeful moment And
sent myself to this grave The grave I now call home
I forgot the reason What she meant to me In that single moment And lost my only chance
To truly live
To truly be complete
No matter how far I go The distance can never be far enough To forget those moments That I wish I could change Do
the things I know to be true Do what I should have done So many times before But these pages have bee Burned
before such eyes Could befall and know What they need to know
I forgot the reason What she meant to me In that single moment And lost my only chance To truly
live
6/15/02
Masks
I wear these masks because my face is too cold and ugly Or so they say As they beat me With my insecurities
As I wear this mask, you cannot see the tears That fall from my eyes That fall from your beatings From all the
times you push me away
I can hide just as well As any man I can run just as fast As anyone
You cannot see the hurt That you burn deep in my chest As I wear these masks As you wear them too
I cannot see the faces Of the nameless ones That befall upon my body That befoul my spirit
But I feel the tearing Of their ragged claws As I slip away to where They can never reach me
I can hide just as well As any man I can run just as fast As anyone
With my back turned to you Your hands will never reach me As I tumble down the well You dare not follow through The
well so many dive in In hopes of rescue
But I feel the tragedy In my actions That no one else feels In my vision In my hoping In my dreaming
I can hide Until I am found I can run Until I trip Watch me hide Until they find me Watch me run Until
they catch me And tear out my soul again
"Between Shade and Sun"
Drifting slowly on the sea of wind Rocking to and fro Leaves falling through the night A gentle hand brushing
lightly Calming violent storms That swirl beneath the surface
Those eyes The sun and moon Collapsing On soft horizons Lighting The world Alighting Between shade
and sun
Let the world embrace you Beneath the sky With stars burning brightly Lighting the way unseen In daylight Clear
inside enlightened hearts Reach out and take hold Of the dreams Behind the window Trust hands that open warmly Cut
and bruised By the world they love
Those eyes The sun and moon Collapsing On soft horizons Lighting The world Alighting Between shade
and sun
Weather-beaten and unafraid Of the twilight Beneath the shade Standing calmly in the morn Withstanding surviving The
brutal storms No longer trapped alone Now in embrace Unalone within the sun
Those eyes The sun and moon Collapsing On soft horizons Lighting The world Alighting Between shade
and sun
"Open Arms" (it's a new one that I haven't looked at much)
Look through the clouds Formed by your fears Be strong within
Forge your will of steel Born from the vision Unperturbed by the horrors That innocent eyes have seen
The light will blind Those with hate in their eyes The wind will sweep And push aside the darkness
(chorus) I have my strength Born from myself Dedication to life Love, self, and world
The four horsemen will try To strike us down To us they try to deliver Illusion, hatred, fear, and pain
We will not give in Our resolve will be our legs In the face of our challenges We will not give up
They see our strength But don't understand Not because they can't Only because they won't
Open your eyes Open your ears See truth one time And understand
(chorus) I have my strength Born from myself Dedication to life Love, self, and world
The lies that comfort all Are the words that I push away Illusions fall apart When the sun shows its face
Watch the clouds fade away And the sky becomes clear World blessed by The daylight rains
For yourself alone
(chorus) I have my strength Born from myself Dedication to life Love, self, and world
We have our strength Born from ourselves within Dedication to life Love, selves, and world

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